POTENCY: NO MORE CASANOVA
Of course, psychologically caused erection problems aren’t confined to basically unhappy relationships. Sometimes a good relationship can get sidetracked by the man becoming too concerned with his abilities as a lover. He gets so involved with giving his partner an orgasm that he doesn’t feel his own pleasure. And he can lose his erection as a result of this preoccupation.
Henry, for example, always took great pride in his ability to satisfy a woman and “give” her an orgasm. As Henry got into his 40’s, he noticed that on occasion, his erections took longer to appear. This is a normal result of aging, but Henry didn’t look at it that way. He saw it as a personal defeat, as a sign that his powers were waning, His new wife, Anne, didn’t have orgasms every time they made love, but she told Henry she didn’t feel deprived by this, saying “I don’t keep score.” But Henry took his wife’s occasional lack of orgasm as yet another sign that his skills as a lover were on the decline. He agonized over this state of affairs. One night, Henry lost his erection while making love. He became terribly upset and decided he needed medical attention. As it turned out, Henry didn’t have an erection problem until he created one in his mind; his overconcem about his adroitness as a lover was the initial stress, and his anxiety about his “failure” was the fuel that kept it going.
It’s important to check out all physical causes of potency problems before attributing the situation to psychological factors. At the same time, we think it’s essential not to ignore the psychological impact that physically caused erection problems can have, especially if they are allowed to continue untreated for a long time. Simon, for example, became severely depressed when he could no longer get an erection. His condition was due to a problem with his blood-flow system. After a complete workup and evaluation, Simon decided to have a penile implant. Several weeks after the surgery, he recovered his potency and his wife was very pleased. Simon, however, remained somewhat depressed, although he insisted that he was satisfied with the implant. But the memory of his lack of erection seemed to dog him. “He doesn’t realize that he’s not impotent anymore,” his wife remarked. For this middle-aged man, the lack of erection signified a great loss of self; after his problem was corrected, he remained unhappy for several months. It took a long time for him to let go of his feelings of loss and resume normal living.
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