Неврозы – Neuroses

THREATENING SAME-SEX CHILDHOOD FOE

Do you remember a bully, a «meany,» some child who just seemed to have it in for you? There seemed to be something about you that resulted in a monstrous reaction on the part of this one particular child. You might have sprinted with terror past his house, snuck down the alley on the way home from school, done anything to avoid direct confrontation with this one child.

One husband reported, «His name was Carl. This kid hated my looks, my name, my clothes, my walk, my parents, even my dog. I have never been so afraid in my life, not even in the war, as I was afraid of Carl.»

«She was the meanest girl. She gave the word ‘bitch’ a bad name. She put me down to everybody. I hated her. I wished she would die. I’ll bet she became a gossip columnist.» This wife frowned, reliving her anger as she described this love-map imprint.

The same-gender conflict and fear gets on our love map, a danger zone that is reflected in our choice of a partner and in our day-today working and loving. Think about conflicts with people at work, about conflicts with certain family members, and try to relate these relationships to your love map. You will see that these maps influence all living.

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At this stage of the process some people may go into psychotherapy. As was discussed in chapter four, psychotherapy can be extremely beneficial. Many of us who have an anxiety disorder have suppressed our primary emotions of anger, grief and so on. Psychotherapy helps us contact these feelings. Experiencing them is part of the healing process.

People have asked the question of what to do with their thoughts while working through issues in psychotherapy. There will be issues in therapy which need to be thought through and worked with, and they may cause anxiety and attacks. Again, it means walking a fine line. Be aware of why they have occurred and let them happen.

As our management skills increase we will begin to realise a subtle pattern emerging with our anxiety and attacks. When we are avoiding confronting particular personal issues, or in other words, not being honest with ourselves, we may find ourselves reacting with anxiety or an attack. We can use these subtle guides to get to know and understand ourselves on a deeper level.

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For many types of cancer, complete surgical removal of the primary tumour is the only treatment that is ever capable of producing a complete and permanent cure. Surgery cures more cancers than does any other form of treatment. Surgery is also recommended to cancer patients for other reasons: to make a diagnosis, to relieve or prevent symptoms and to reconstruct parts of the body. We will look at each of these in turn later in this chapter.

There is one basic problem with surgical treatment which does not apply with other types of treatment. Surgery is done while you are unconscious and therefore incapable of making any decisions.

If something unexpected is found during an operation on you, decisions about the best immediate course of action will be taken out of your hands. They will be made on your behalf by the surgeon. Most surgeons take it for granted that they should be making all the decisions, so they have no strong reasons for trying to prevent this situation from arising. There is only one way to make sure that you make the decisions about what operation will be done. You must make sure that you know, as completely and accurately as possible, before your operation what will be found when you are opened up, and what can be done to deal with this situation. The more careful and thorough your pre-operative assessment is, the greater the possibility of the exact opertion lat you agree to being performed.

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