THREATENING SAME-SEX CHILDHOOD FOE
Do you remember a bully, a «meany,» some child who just seemed to have it in for you? There seemed to be something about you that resulted in a monstrous reaction on the part of this one particular child. You might have sprinted with terror past his house, snuck down the alley on the way home from school, done anything to avoid direct confrontation with this one child.
One husband reported, «His name was Carl. This kid hated my looks, my name, my clothes, my walk, my parents, even my dog. I have never been so afraid in my life, not even in the war, as I was afraid of Carl.»
«She was the meanest girl. She gave the word ‘bitch’ a bad name. She put me down to everybody. I hated her. I wished she would die. I’ll bet she became a gossip columnist.» This wife frowned, reliving her anger as she described this love-map imprint.
The same-gender conflict and fear gets on our love map, a danger zone that is reflected in our choice of a partner and in our day-today working and loving. Think about conflicts with people at work, about conflicts with certain family members, and try to relate these relationships to your love map. You will see that these maps influence all living.